I am 25 years old, currently weighing 145 lbs at 5'6". I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I was a chubby little girl, and developed a complex about my weight at the early age of 12 (thanks to mean girls at school). I started running in middle school and lost my "baby fat", but started having problems again when I developed curves around 15-16 years old. Ever since I went to college, I have been constantly fluctuating between 135-152 lbs (sometimes I cover the whole range in less than 3 months).
The problem is I cannot eat in moderation. I have developed such a bad relationship with food that everything is either "bad" or "good".
On "good days" I eat oatmeal for breakfast, a grilled chicken salad for lunch, a snack bar, and then steamed veggies, lean protein, and brown rice for dinner. If I break down and eat a "bad" food item, I lose my motivation completely since I have already ruined my "good" day and proceed to binge on junk food, fast food, you name it. It is usually triggered by negative emotions--stress, frustration, or when I'm feeling down. I go get bagels with cream cheese, Philly cheese steaks with french fries, cookies, and big pasta dinners.
The problem with this mode of thinking is that when my "bad" days start outnumbering my "good" days, I pack on the pounds very quickly. Last week I went from 139 to 145 lbs!! I exercise regularly and know exactly how to eat healthy.
So, why can't I get rid of this "all or nothing" mentality??
I have a wedding to go to in 2 weeks and I'd like to lose 5 lbs by then, so I don't feel miserable trying to squeeze into a cocktail dress. My long term goal is to develop a sense of moderation with eating and stay in my ideal weight range (133-136 lbs) for good. I need to lose about 10-12 pounds, starting today. Then I need to maintain it!
Please offer me help/suggestions on how to avoid overeating when I've made a "bad" food choice and/or how I can change my "extreme" eating patterns.
Posts
